A new OTR guest blogger, Grace Pamer, joins us today with tips on how to tackle hoarding tendencies.

Many of us are natural-born hoarders and we end up having far too many possessions but without the room to house them. For others, it can be a type of mental health illness where they throw nothing away because they are unable to.

If you know someone who fits into the latter category, there is help available either in the form of talking to a councillor or visiting an online forum to talk to other sufferers. A person with a serious hoarding problem would need support before undertaking any of the following tips as it could prove too emotionally traumatising for them.

For the rest of us hoarders, here are 5 easy steps to cut down on your hoarding habit and make a clean start.

1. Get organised and prepare

• The first thing you need to think about is the order in which you are going to tackle your hoarding problem. Split the house into different areas and deal with one place at a time; otherwise, you will feel completely overwhelmed.
• Allow yourself at least three weekends if your hoarding habit has got out of hand as it is important that you take your time. For homes with far less clutter you may be able to undertake this task in less time.
• Make sure that you buy plenty of garbage bags, storage boxes, a recycling bin, sticky labels, and a pen. If your stash is huge, you may want to consider hiring a portable dumpster for the convenience of having someone else to take the rubbish away.

2. Categorize

• Separate your hoard into four separate piles and label them “donate,” “discard,” “storage,” and “sell.” This is the hard part as you have to be emotionally strong and decide which bits go where. You will probably have the urge to place everything on the “storage” pile, but you must be strong and get rid of some stuff.
• The general rule of thumb with clothing is if you have not worn it for a year, then you are unlikely to wear it again. Also, if you have worn something the first time it came into fashion, then you cannot wear it any other times (platform boots were great in the 1970s but would not suit you now).
• In this case, you should give your clothing to charity or sell on eBay. Old ornaments and other pieces of bric-a-brac which have been gathering dust for years should either be discarded or donated. Old magazines and newspapers are no good to anyone so you should recycle these.
• Any item you cannot give away or discard (maybe you just have to keep it for sentimental reasons) should be placed in a clearly label plastic storage box. If you are worried that something you have been hoarding may be valuable, you can check this out online before deciding on what to do with it.

3. Protect Yourself

• Depending on which space you are clearing, you may need to wear rubber gloves and protective clothing which will stop any harmful chemicals affecting your skin and clothes. Sometimes things have been stashed away for so long that they get mould and mildew on them or have become loose and are leaking chemical fluids. All of these items must be discarded as they are of no use to anybody.
• If you are de-cluttering a bathroom, you should discard ancient toiletries and out of date medicines (you can hand these medicines in at your local pharmacy that will dispose of your pills in the correct manner). Pills which are past their “Best before _____” date can be harmful to your health and do not carry the same amount of effectiveness, so are useless anyway.
• In the case of your kitchen, you should look for broken utensils, chipped dinner services and out of date cans of food. These should all be discarded immediately as, again, they are harmful to your health. Perishable foods should always be kept in the refrigerator, but if you are a hoarder by nature, there will no doubt be some out of date cheese or carton of Chinese food lurking. 
• So while you are concentrating on the kitchen, take the time to deal with perishables and that includes your vegetable drawer or cupboard. Mouldy potatoes attract flies and once eggs are laid, the smell can be intolerable, so it is best to address this problem before it escalates. Try and use anti-bacterial cleaner to sterilise cupboards and surfaces to minimise the risk of even more bacteria spreading from old waste.

4. Ask For Help

• If the thought of cutting down your hoarding habit seems too daunting, then do not be afraid to ask a friend or family member to assist you. You will probably uncover some interesting things which will make a good talking point and some older things may stir up some nostalgia!
• Remember, more hands make light work, so you will get this job done much quicker and you will have emotional support as well as an extra pair of hands.

5. Reward Yourself

• Even if it takes a month to cut down on your hoard, it is well worth it for the amazing results. You will find that without all of the unnecessary clutter around you, your home will look bigger and lighter. You will actually be able to think more clearly. 
• During the various stages of clearing your house out, allow yourself regular breaks where you can sit and have a cup of coffee or stretch your legs for fifteen minutes. These breaks are important to your mental and physical wellbeing and will help stop you feeling bored or frustrated. 
• You will also find that you have more space in your closet and kitchen cupboards so maybe you can buy yourself a new outfit or a new set of glasses for the kitchen. These rewards will remind you of your hard work and the reason why you did it.

By following these easy steps you will soon have your personal space looking spic and span. You may even decide to decorate in order to spruce up your lovely new living area. You could use the money you make from selling your old clothes on eBay. Remember, a tidy house creates a tidy mind, so get to it!

About the Author

Grace Pamer is the author of RomanticFrugalMom.com, one woman’s on going quest to keep romance alive despite the time pressure of dealing with three beautiful but crazy kids and an always working husband. Check out her love letters for him section if you’re looking to put the romance back into your marriage with a well crafted love letter to your nearest and dearest.

Connect With Grace:  Web | Blog | Twitter | Facebook | Love Letters

I’m not completely back yet from my mini-break, but decided to share a few thoughts with you today about extreme reality TV. 

Have you noticed the growing number of programs that showcase some kind of extreme behavior? I’ve watched Hoarders for a while, but now there’s also My Strange Addiction, Hoarding: Buried Alive, Doomsday Preppers, and Extreme Couponing to name a few.

I think these shows are awesome. They really give a you a peek into the lives of people who may just live on your block. If you’re someone who’s in a similar situation, you’ll quickly realize that you’re not alone, and you might be motivated to get some help. Of course, I’m pretty tickled that some of these shows have put the spotlight on pro organizers, like Dorothy Breininger and Geralin Thomas.

I also think these shows are awful. They make me cringe. Watching Clutter Cleaner, Matt Paxton wade through garbage and dead animals is really hard. In fact, I have to decide between taking a bath and frantically cleaning up. Watching Shannon drink gasoline doesn’t make me feel warm and fuzzy. Some of people just make me scratch my head, like Tamis who has over 2000 wigs. Two. Thousand. That’s crazy…but sooo interesting.

I can’t stop watching! Well, that’s not true. I can. I have. I just take a break and then I start watching them again. So, really, I can’t stop watching. I’m not sure what to make of this fence riding that I’m doing.

How about you? Do you watch these shows? Think they’re helpful? Exploitive?

Today’s guest blogger, Amber Killmon, shares a personal story about a loved one who’s a hoarder. If you’re a pro organizer who’d like to help, please reach out to Amber.

As far back as I can remember, my grandmother has always been a “packrat.” Her favorite pastime is visiting thrift stores, flea markets, and going to yard sales. She’s constantly buying things, whether she needs them, has a use for them, has room for them or not. We all shrugged it off at first, and then we really took notice to how bad it’s actually gotten. Her house isn’t to the extreme that’s shown on TV (yet), but it is a hazardous environment nonetheless.

At the moment, my grandmother has 3 coffee tables in her living room (about 10×10 – her house is a bungalow), 4 chairs, a sofa, 2 ottomans, 2 entertainment centers, 5 to the ceiling stacks of newspapers, magazines and books and a ton of odds and end knick knacks everywhere. Me and my mom go to her house once or twice a month to try to clean it up and clear out the clutter, but my grandmother has gotten so she refuses to let us in.

Her bedroom is by far the worse and most dangerous room in the house, as that’s where she “stores” her boxes and buys she hasn’t sorted through yet. On average, I’d say she spends a minimum of $600 a month on this stuff.

Being in her 70’s, I’m constantly worrying about her health and safety. She raised me the majority of my life and is one of the few family members I have left. This year alone she has fallen 6 times, broken 3 bones and fractured 4 more due to her hoarding. The majority of her falls have happened in her bedroom while trying to crawl over the many mounds of clothes and boxes to get to or from her bed. Luckily my brother has moved in with her, to help take care of her, but he works and isn’t able to be there 24 hours a day.

I’m terrified that something horrible is going to happen to my grandmother, and wish we had done something sooner to try to prevent this from happening. Me and my mom have been talking and have decided that we’ll give her another week or so to let us come in and help, and if she still refuses we’ll have to call in the state. We don’t want to resort to that, but in order for us to keep my grandmother alive, I’m afraid we wont have any other options.

About the Author

Amber Killmon is the owner of the blog Parent Palace. Amber is a stay at home mom living in Virginia with her son, boyfriend and cat.

Connect With Amber: Web | E-mail

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“Becoming a hoarder is not unlike becoming a workaholic or an exercise fanatic as a way to escape a difficult life or event. People can turn to these activities just like hoarders rely on acquiring and holding on to their stuff.” ~Matt Paxton

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Book World: ‘The Secret Lives of Hoarders’ | WashingtonPost.com | 6.29.11

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What do Hoarders and Dirty Money have in common? Well, it’s not what, but who, and the who is Matt Paxton. If you watch Hoarders, you’ll remember seeing Matt and his clutter cleaning crew.

It turns out that he’s been working on a new show called, if you haven’t guessed by now, Dirty Money. In the program, Matt and his team do free clean ups and look for things to sell. It premiered on June 18th on A&E and yours truly forgot to DVR it!  If you saw it, please tell me what you thought of it.

Did you also know that Hoarders returns tonight at 9 pm EST?  OTR friend, Geralin Thomas, will be working with a woman who has so many dolls that her son has threatened to call Adult Protective Services. The other person profiled is Janet. She has to climb from garbage bag to garbage bag to get to the chair that she eats/sleeps in.

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“Phyllis’ obsession has manifested itself into a floor to ceiling collection of bags stuffed with dolls, and a doll hospital in a spare bedroom where she “amputates” the limbs of one doll to make another complete.”

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Sometimes watching Hoarders can be difficult for me, but this one sounds pretty interesting so I think I’ll check it out. Will you be tuning in tonight? Please come back with your critique.

Have you heard of extreme couponing? I hadn’t until recently. Apparently, I’ve been living under a rock because there are already 13 episodes of the television program, Extreme Couponing, on TLC.

Like the program Hoarders, this TV show profiles people who hoard…with a twist.  Extreme couponers get a huge high from getting a great deal when they go grocery shopping. They are very savvy at combining coupons with in-store specials to get very large discount, oftentimes walking away with bags and bags of groceries for free (or very little money).

On paper, this sounds practical. But the trade-off is with the time spent researching the best deals online, physically walking through the stores (and getting help to cart everything to the car), and storing all that stuff.

“We’re on our seventh or eight cart, and we’re not done yet. Alright, ah, we got nine carts. We gotta call a moving truck.”

The title of the show is very appropriate. It really is extreme. Cars don’t fit in garages because mini-stores are taking up space. Extra bedrooms become storage facilities. Man caves become cluttered with overflowing toiletries.

This is simply a different perspective on hoarding. There are piles and piles of stuff but they are superbly organized. One person organized her wares by expiration date, and makes sure that the labels of all items were facing out. Did I mention that she was also the person who had her pregnant friend and son help her search for coupons…in a dumpster? Another woman had her husband pick up 125 boxes of each type of pasta. Who needs that much pasta? …or 160 candy bars??

There’s nothing wrong with getting a great deal (no pun intended), but isn’t this just organized hoarding? It also seems a bit selfish. When you clear out the supermarket shelves, what’s left for the rest of us?

What do you think? If you are an extreme couponer, please, please help me understand. *scratching my head*

Image Credit: Logopedia

What a busy weekend we had at the Food, Libations, and Luxury Home Show at the Gaylord National Hotel! We met lots of new people, a few “old” friends stopped by our booth, and we ate waaay too much. =)  We’re still unpacking and hope you’ll enjoy an oldie but goodie from last year – our interview with Geralin Thomas from the A&E show, Hoarders.

Here’s an excerpt from that interview…

1.  What is your area of expertise and how long have you been a professional organizer?  Doyou work only with hoarders?

My area of expertise is residential organizing. I particularly enjoy helping clients who are chronically disorganized or clients with mental health challenges, including hoarders.

2.  You are one of the organizers featured on the A&E show, Hoarders. What is that experience like?

It’s interesting (in a good way). Before the show, a lot of people weren’t even aware of the term, “hoarding,” let alone recognizing it as a disorder. Bringing this disorder out into the open has ignited a lot of conversations about the impact on families, communities, landlords and, of course, the health of the hoarder.  It has been a very rewarding experience.

3.  Do you continue working with the people profiled on Hoarders after filming ends?

No, so far, I haven’t worked with anyone located in my home state of NC.  I refer my TV clients to a qualified professional organizer who lives near them whenever possible.  I do, however, stay in touch with many of the clients via phone and email.  I even talk to some of their family members too, with their permission, of course.

 

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“Collecting is very important for kids, starting at about age 2, when they learn the meaning of the word ‘mine,’ up until early teenage years, which is why most kids have very cluttered rooms. And that shouldn’t be of concern.” ~Randy O. Frost, Co-Author of Stuff: Compulsive Hoarding and the Meaning of Things

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They’re not hoarders, they’re just messy | LATimes.com | 1.29.11

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Many people have learned about hoarding by watching shows on TV that depict very extreme situations. Today’s guest author, Dr. Marla Deibler, highlights some very real challenges compulsive hoarders face.

Compulsive hoarding has attracted a great deal of media attention. These media portrayals, whether they are television, newspaper, or other illustrations of the problem, tend to be somewhat unidimensional.  Yes, these individuals’ homes are frequently difficult to navigate, and, yes, these individuals appear to be excessively attached to items that many of us view as of very little or no value. However, these snapshots into the lives of these individuals sometimes lack the depth of difficulty these individuals have in their lives.

Let’s look at a few of the challenges that are often under-conveyed, but that are very real, very significant challenges to individuals, their family members, and to us, as psychologists who treat them.

1. Interpersonal Difficulties. Hoarding behavior frequently leads to social isolation in individuals who reside alone. They tend to keep to themselves and do not have guests in their homes. This can lead to problems with depression, loneliness, and further difficulties. Adult children often have strained relationships with a parent who hoards, as the stress of the situation causes significant conflicts.

For those who do not live alone, this behavior is frequently a significant strain on a marriage and on relationships between the individual and his/her children. Feelings of anger, resentment, sadness, embarrassment, and frustration are commonly reported by such family members.

2. Co-Occurring Psychopathology. These individuals frequently have co-occurring psychopathology which poses an added challenge to their treatment and to improving their living conditions. For example, 60% of these individuals meet criteria for major depressive disorder.  Other conditions that commonly co-occur include social phobia (30%), generalized anxiety disorder (25%), and obsessive compulsive disorder (15%-17%). These problems also need to be identified and treated.

3. Perfectionism and other Erroneous Beliefs. Compulsive hoarders frequently have thoughts, beliefs, and values that are maladaptive and contribute to the maintenance of the problem.  For example, an individual may believe that they must clean and organize their kitchen perfectly. They then get overwhelmed by this expectation and do not approach the task at all because they believe they will not do it perfectly.

By avoiding the task, they avoid experiencing those unpleasant, anxious, overwhelmed feelings, but the clutter continues (negative reinforcement).  These engrained patterns of thinking need to be identified, challenged, and replaced with more adaptive thoughts, a major goal in therapy.

4.  Insight and Desire to Change. Many individuals are considered to have poor insight and are resistant to change; however, this is often misunderstood. These individuals typically know there is a problem and they experience a great deal of anxiety about failed efforts or desires to change, but their anxiety can be so significant that it is paralyzing.

Many of these individuals have made efforts to change their environment. They do not have guests in their come, as they know that their home would not be met with approval, yet their tendency toward over-valuing of their belongings, fear of losing their belongings, as well as many other associated worries leads them to emotionally shut down and reject assistance, leaving them prisoners in their own homes.

About the Author

Dr. Marla Deibler is the director of the Center for Emotional Health of Greater Philadelphia, LLC, and holds a doctorate in Clinical Psychology with a concentration in Health Psychology/Neuropsychology. She holds licenses to practice psychology in New Jersey (Lic. No. 35S100438000) and Pennsylvania (Lic. No. PS0157790). Dr. Deibler is a member of the International OCD Foundation (formerly the Obsessive Compulsive Foundation), Trichotillomania Learning Center, and the Anxiety Disorders Association of America and has been involved in working with the Obsessive-Compulsive Spectrum Disorders community since 1999. She has also appeared on A&E’s Hoarders.

Connect With Dr. Deibler: Web |E-mail | Facebook | Twitter | 856.220.9672

“Randy Frost, psychologist at Smith College, said only 5 percent of hoarders have an OCD basis for it; the rest may have other OCD-related problems or none at all.” [Some Obsessions, Compulsions Not Part of OCD · Elizabeth Landau · CNN.com · August 13, 2009]

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