Today’s guest blogger, Amber Killmon, shares a personal story about a loved one who’s a hoarder. If you’re a pro organizer who’d like to help, please reach out to Amber.

As far back as I can remember, my grandmother has always been a “packrat.” Her favorite pastime is visiting thrift stores, flea markets, and going to yard sales. She’s constantly buying things, whether she needs them, has a use for them, has room for them or not. We all shrugged it off at first, and then we really took notice to how bad it’s actually gotten. Her house isn’t to the extreme that’s shown on TV (yet), but it is a hazardous environment nonetheless.

At the moment, my grandmother has 3 coffee tables in her living room (about 10×10 – her house is a bungalow), 4 chairs, a sofa, 2 ottomans, 2 entertainment centers, 5 to the ceiling stacks of newspapers, magazines and books and a ton of odds and end knick knacks everywhere. Me and my mom go to her house once or twice a month to try to clean it up and clear out the clutter, but my grandmother has gotten so she refuses to let us in.

Her bedroom is by far the worse and most dangerous room in the house, as that’s where she “stores” her boxes and buys she hasn’t sorted through yet. On average, I’d say she spends a minimum of $600 a month on this stuff.

Being in her 70’s, I’m constantly worrying about her health and safety. She raised me the majority of my life and is one of the few family members I have left. This year alone she has fallen 6 times, broken 3 bones and fractured 4 more due to her hoarding. The majority of her falls have happened in her bedroom while trying to crawl over the many mounds of clothes and boxes to get to or from her bed. Luckily my brother has moved in with her, to help take care of her, but he works and isn’t able to be there 24 hours a day.

I’m terrified that something horrible is going to happen to my grandmother, and wish we had done something sooner to try to prevent this from happening. Me and my mom have been talking and have decided that we’ll give her another week or so to let us come in and help, and if she still refuses we’ll have to call in the state. We don’t want to resort to that, but in order for us to keep my grandmother alive, I’m afraid we wont have any other options.

About the Author

Amber Killmon is the owner of the blog Parent Palace. Amber is a stay at home mom living in Virginia with her son, boyfriend and cat.

Connect With Amber: Web | E-mail

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“Becoming a hoarder is not unlike becoming a workaholic or an exercise fanatic as a way to escape a difficult life or event. People can turn to these activities just like hoarders rely on acquiring and holding on to their stuff.” ~Matt Paxton

Read More:

Book World: ‘The Secret Lives of Hoarders’ | WashingtonPost.com | 6.29.11

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What do Hoarders and Dirty Money have in common? Well, it’s not what, but who, and the who is Matt Paxton. If you watch Hoarders, you’ll remember seeing Matt and his clutter cleaning crew.

It turns out that he’s been working on a new show called, if you haven’t guessed by now, Dirty Money. In the program, Matt and his team do free clean ups and look for things to sell. It premiered on June 18th on A&E and yours truly forgot to DVR it!  If you saw it, please tell me what you thought of it.

Did you also know that Hoarders returns tonight at 9 pm EST?  OTR friend, Geralin Thomas, will be working with a woman who has so many dolls that her son has threatened to call Adult Protective Services. The other person profiled is Janet. She has to climb from garbage bag to garbage bag to get to the chair that she eats/sleeps in.

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“Phyllis’ obsession has manifested itself into a floor to ceiling collection of bags stuffed with dolls, and a doll hospital in a spare bedroom where she “amputates” the limbs of one doll to make another complete.”

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Sometimes watching Hoarders can be difficult for me, but this one sounds pretty interesting so I think I’ll check it out. Will you be tuning in tonight? Please come back with your critique.

Have you heard of extreme couponing? I hadn’t until recently. Apparently, I’ve been living under a rock because there are already 13 episodes of the television program, Extreme Couponing, on TLC.

Like the program Hoarders, this TV show profiles people who hoard…with a twist.  Extreme couponers get a huge high from getting a great deal when they go grocery shopping. They are very savvy at combining coupons with in-store specials to get very large discount, oftentimes walking away with bags and bags of groceries for free (or very little money).

On paper, this sounds practical. But the trade-off is with the time spent researching the best deals online, physically walking through the stores (and getting help to cart everything to the car), and storing all that stuff.

“We’re on our seventh or eight cart, and we’re not done yet. Alright, ah, we got nine carts. We gotta call a moving truck.”

The title of the show is very appropriate. It really is extreme. Cars don’t fit in garages because mini-stores are taking up space. Extra bedrooms become storage facilities. Man caves become cluttered with overflowing toiletries.

This is simply a different perspective on hoarding. There are piles and piles of stuff but they are superbly organized. One person organized her wares by expiration date, and makes sure that the labels of all items were facing out. Did I mention that she was also the person who had her pregnant friend and son help her search for coupons…in a dumpster? Another woman had her husband pick up 125 boxes of each type of pasta. Who needs that much pasta? …or 160 candy bars??

There’s nothing wrong with getting a great deal (no pun intended), but isn’t this just organized hoarding? It also seems a bit selfish. When you clear out the supermarket shelves, what’s left for the rest of us?

What do you think? If you are an extreme couponer, please, please help me understand. *scratching my head*

Image Credit: Logopedia

What a busy weekend we had at the Food, Libations, and Luxury Home Show at the Gaylord National Hotel! We met lots of new people, a few “old” friends stopped by our booth, and we ate waaay too much. =)  We’re still unpacking and hope you’ll enjoy an oldie but goodie from last year – our interview with Geralin Thomas from the A&E show, Hoarders.

Here’s an excerpt from that interview…

1.  What is your area of expertise and how long have you been a professional organizer?  Doyou work only with hoarders?

My area of expertise is residential organizing. I particularly enjoy helping clients who are chronically disorganized or clients with mental health challenges, including hoarders.

2.  You are one of the organizers featured on the A&E show, Hoarders. What is that experience like?

It’s interesting (in a good way). Before the show, a lot of people weren’t even aware of the term, “hoarding,” let alone recognizing it as a disorder. Bringing this disorder out into the open has ignited a lot of conversations about the impact on families, communities, landlords and, of course, the health of the hoarder.  It has been a very rewarding experience.

3.  Do you continue working with the people profiled on Hoarders after filming ends?

No, so far, I haven’t worked with anyone located in my home state of NC.  I refer my TV clients to a qualified professional organizer who lives near them whenever possible.  I do, however, stay in touch with many of the clients via phone and email.  I even talk to some of their family members too, with their permission, of course.

 

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“Collecting is very important for kids, starting at about age 2, when they learn the meaning of the word ‘mine,’ up until early teenage years, which is why most kids have very cluttered rooms. And that shouldn’t be of concern.” ~Randy O. Frost, Co-Author of Stuff: Compulsive Hoarding and the Meaning of Things

Read More:

They’re not hoarders, they’re just messy | LATimes.com | 1.29.11

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Many people have learned about hoarding by watching shows on TV that depict very extreme situations. Today’s guest author, Dr. Marla Deibler, highlights some very real challenges compulsive hoarders face.

Compulsive hoarding has attracted a great deal of media attention. These media portrayals, whether they are television, newspaper, or other illustrations of the problem, tend to be somewhat unidimensional.  Yes, these individuals’ homes are frequently difficult to navigate, and, yes, these individuals appear to be excessively attached to items that many of us view as of very little or no value. However, these snapshots into the lives of these individuals sometimes lack the depth of difficulty these individuals have in their lives.

Let’s look at a few of the challenges that are often under-conveyed, but that are very real, very significant challenges to individuals, their family members, and to us, as psychologists who treat them.

1. Interpersonal Difficulties. Hoarding behavior frequently leads to social isolation in individuals who reside alone. They tend to keep to themselves and do not have guests in their homes. This can lead to problems with depression, loneliness, and further difficulties. Adult children often have strained relationships with a parent who hoards, as the stress of the situation causes significant conflicts.

For those who do not live alone, this behavior is frequently a significant strain on a marriage and on relationships between the individual and his/her children. Feelings of anger, resentment, sadness, embarrassment, and frustration are commonly reported by such family members.

2. Co-Occurring Psychopathology. These individuals frequently have co-occurring psychopathology which poses an added challenge to their treatment and to improving their living conditions. For example, 60% of these individuals meet criteria for major depressive disorder.  Other conditions that commonly co-occur include social phobia (30%), generalized anxiety disorder (25%), and obsessive compulsive disorder (15%-17%). These problems also need to be identified and treated.

3. Perfectionism and other Erroneous Beliefs. Compulsive hoarders frequently have thoughts, beliefs, and values that are maladaptive and contribute to the maintenance of the problem.  For example, an individual may believe that they must clean and organize their kitchen perfectly. They then get overwhelmed by this expectation and do not approach the task at all because they believe they will not do it perfectly.

By avoiding the task, they avoid experiencing those unpleasant, anxious, overwhelmed feelings, but the clutter continues (negative reinforcement).  These engrained patterns of thinking need to be identified, challenged, and replaced with more adaptive thoughts, a major goal in therapy.

4.  Insight and Desire to Change. Many individuals are considered to have poor insight and are resistant to change; however, this is often misunderstood. These individuals typically know there is a problem and they experience a great deal of anxiety about failed efforts or desires to change, but their anxiety can be so significant that it is paralyzing.

Many of these individuals have made efforts to change their environment. They do not have guests in their come, as they know that their home would not be met with approval, yet their tendency toward over-valuing of their belongings, fear of losing their belongings, as well as many other associated worries leads them to emotionally shut down and reject assistance, leaving them prisoners in their own homes.

About the Author

Dr. Marla Deibler is the director of the Center for Emotional Health of Greater Philadelphia, LLC, and holds a doctorate in Clinical Psychology with a concentration in Health Psychology/Neuropsychology. She holds licenses to practice psychology in New Jersey (Lic. No. 35S100438000) and Pennsylvania (Lic. No. PS0157790). Dr. Deibler is a member of the International OCD Foundation (formerly the Obsessive Compulsive Foundation), Trichotillomania Learning Center, and the Anxiety Disorders Association of America and has been involved in working with the Obsessive-Compulsive Spectrum Disorders community since 1999. She has also appeared on A&E’s Hoarders.

Connect With Dr. Deibler: Web |E-mail | Facebook | Twitter | 856.220.9672

“Randy Frost, psychologist at Smith College, said only 5 percent of hoarders have an OCD basis for it; the rest may have other OCD-related problems or none at all.” [Some Obsessions, Compulsions Not Part of OCD · Elizabeth Landau · CNN.com · August 13, 2009]

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Today’s post features an interview with Certified Professional Organizer^®, Geralin Thomas.  Geralin has been featured several times on the A&E program, “Hoarders,”  and, in this interview, she explains what it’s like being a hoarding expert.

1.  What is your area of expertise and how long have you been a professional organizer?  Do you work only with hoarders?

My area of expertise is residential organizing. I particularly enjoy helping clients who are chronically disorganized or clients with mental health challenges, including hoarders.

2.  You are one of the organizers featured on the A&E show, Hoarders. What is that experience like?

It’s interesting (in a good way). Before the show, a lot of people weren’t even aware of the term, “hoarding,” let alone recognizing it as a disorder. Bringing this disorder out into the open has ignited a lot of conversations about the impact on families, communities, landlords and, of course, the health of the hoarder.  It has been a very rewarding experience.

3.  Do you continue working with the people profiled on Hoarders after filming ends?

No, so far, I haven’t worked with anyone located in my home state of NC.  I refer my TV clients to a qualified professional organizer who lives near them whenever possible.  I do, however, stay in touch with many of the clients via phone and email.  I even talk to some of their family members too, with their permission, of course.

4.  Would you say the show accurately depicts the way you would normally work with a client?  Do you often have a team of people that works with you?

Yes, when working with hoarding clients, I use a team of professional organizers and collaborate with a therapist.  Nothing about what I’m doing, meaning the organizing process, is fabricated for TV.  The producers encourage the “experts” to do what we normally do.  The challenge for me, personally, is to do this with a team I’ve never met before and do it quickly. It’s been GREAT bonding with professional organizers and 1-800-GOT-JUNK teams all over the US.  I’m fortunate to work with really incredible, capable, and caring people.

5.  At times, it gets very emotional when a client’s friends or family members are involved in the clean up process.  Do you discourage or encourage their participation?  How do you keep everyone calm…and remain calm yourself?

Education is key! If family members insist on participating (in “real life,” not TV), I have a meeting where boundaries are established and rules are set.  I gently request that family members read books and watch movies about hoarders/hoarding BEFORE coming to help.

Truthfully, it’s usually less tense if friends and family do not participate but it’s not always an option, especially when the client is on a tight budget.  Friends and family always have the best intentions and want to help but they lack understanding and want to work at their pace, not the client’s.

6.  In your experience, how likely is it that clients regress or stop responding positively to the help they get from you (and/or other professionals)?

In my experience, hoarding is treatable but not curable.  I tell clients it’s very much like dieting—if you stop paying attention to what you are consuming/buying, you will most likely find yourself outgrowing your wardrobe/home.  Hoarding is a mental disorder and it’s important to monitor what is being acquired and discarded. It’s complicated because many hoarding clients live with depression or another co-existing condition.

7.   While keeping certain details confidential, can you describe the most difficult case/job you’ve worked on?

Frankly, every single hoarding case has many challenging moments; each and every job is emotionally and physically draining. The homes are often full of safety hazards so spending long days in that environment isn’t healthy, and once I walk out the door for the day, the day’s events remain in my mind.

8.  How does your work impact your life personally?  Does it take a toll on you and your family?

Yes, in addition to what I said earlier, about the environments being toxic, I’m much more mindful of my own spending/shopping/acquiring/saving habits.

For example, years ago, I enjoyed seasonal decorations, while now I think the amount of “holiday stuff’ on store shelves is ridiculous.  The amount of energy used to manufacture those things and the space that all that stuff takes once we own them is terribly wasteful.

9.  Are there books or resources that you would recommend if someone wanted to get more information on hoarding or chronic disorganization?

Here is a link (on my website) that has helpful resources: http://metropolitanorganizing.com/resources/hoarding.

Here is a link to buy “Hoarders: DVDs, but note you can watch them on line.

About Geralin Thomas

Geralin Thomas, CPO-CD^®, and founder of Metropolitan Organizing^®, LLC, (established in 2002) has helped professional athletes, politicians, artists, small business owners, and others live more productive and balanced lives.  A chronic disorganization and ADHD specialist, she is also a Past President of the North Carolina chapter of NAPO^®.  Residing in Cary, North Carolina with her husband and 2 teenage boys, Geralin is a Tarheel fan and graduate from The University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill.  She teaches new organizing courses for NAPO and enjoys working with clients and new organizers.

For casual conversation and organizing information, follow her on Twitter or become a fan on Facebook.

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There’s a new program on TLC that profiles the lives of hoarders called, Hoarding:  Buried Alive.   Just like it’s A&E counter part, the series premier profiled two sets of people struggling with this condition.  In fact, one of them, Chris, lives in my backyard in Northern Virginia.  To look at, he seems like an average man.  To look at his cluttered townhouse is to understand that there’s a lot more going on than appears at first glance. 

Hoarding is a severe taskmaster, and once a person begins hoarding, it’s really hard to escape the web…unless correct treatment occurs. ~Dr. Keith Saylor, Psychologist

In the clip below, Chris brings his new girlfriend home for the first time.   It’s a harsh reality for her to deal with, and even more difficult for Chris as he enlists the help of psychologist and professional organizer in an attempt to save his relationship.

Hoarding:  Buried Alive airs Sundays @ 10/9 Central on TLC

In the other case, Laurie also received help from a pro organizer.  This was her attempt to save her marriage and have her grandchildren come for a visit.  It’s interesting that though both hoarders said they wanted help for themselves, they seemed to really want help to repair or save their treasured relationships.  Does that really matter?  If they get the help no matter the reason, does it really matter?  My gut says, yes, it matters because for something to stick (really stick), you need to do if for yourself.  If the person you’re making the changes for is out of the picture, then what?  On the flip side, they’re getting help and if they have a strong support system, they may still have a chance at long-term success.  I’m a bit torn.  Do you think it matters?  I’d love to hear your thoughts – please leave a comment.

On a final note, the people profiled on A&E and TLC are in extreme situations.  Though it may be difficult to empathize with them, keep in mind that those homes didn’t become cluttered and overwhelming overnight.  The process of clearing out will likely not happen overnight either.  Chris said it best…

I feel like the kid that’s given the task to bail out a swimming pool with a bucket.  I mean, you’re gonna get it done, but it’s gonna take a long time. ~Chris, hoarder profiled on “Hoarding:  Buried Alive”

 

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