How many times have you taken a gift you don’t like because you don’t want to offend the person giving it to you? Besides, you can always re-gift, right?

How many times do you really give that gift away? Do you have a stockpile of these unwantables? Or, do you simply decide to keep that ferociously ugly figurine because the person who gave it to you (say, your mum-in-law) comes over all the time, and would notice that it’s not out on display?

You can continue to hide your head in the sand or lift your head, smile, and find a polite way to say no. Btw, it may take a bit of practice before you can refuse a gift without your hands in your pockets and your head bowed low. Here are a few tips to help you through it.

1. Be Nice. You don’t want to confuse the gift with the intention of the gift. So, remember to always be grateful and kind when you say, “Thanks, but no thanks.”  Body language and facial expressions can tell someone right away that you’re appreciative…and you can actually say that you appreciate their thoughtfulness.

2. Explain. You don’t need to rattle off a long discourse, but it’s helpful to offer a reason why you must decline. I’m often offered cast-offs and even some awesome things from clients. I let them know that it’s not my normal practice to take them, but I’d be happy to find someone who can use them. You don’t have to craft a wild tale. Just be honest (e.g., “I’m really trying to get more organized and have decided not to accept any gifts for a while.”). And, kind. Did I mention be kind?
 

3. Blame Your Organizer. This is a strategy I offer to my clients all the time.  Here’s an example: Oh, wow, thanks so much! …but my organizer, Deb, would kill me if I brought something new in the house. This works really well, especially because it’s true! =) It could be that you promised your spouse that you wouldn’t accept/buy new things until your home was more organized. As always, be kind as you roll your fave pro organizer or spouse under the bus. ;)

“I joke with my students that I’m hoping to win a Nobel Prize because I’m going to show conclusively that, after several years of NIH-funded research, we’ve discovered the treatment for malnutrition, and it’s called food.” ~Paul Farmer, medical anthropologist and physician at Harvard Medical School, at a “Social Entrepreneurship In the 21st Century” event [NYU Alumni Magazine, Fall 2009]

Organize Your Kitchen » Reclaim Your Pantry »» Do Something

• Share Our Strength
• Feeding America
  
• Capital Area Food Bank
• GiveSpot.com
• DoSomething.org

Related Articles

• Hunger in U.S. at a 14-Year High
• Seeking to End World Hunger, One Search at a Time
• More Households Request Food Aid
• U.N. Chief:  Hunger Kills 17,000 Kids Daily

Recently, I shared a few tips on how to control the clutter at this time of year with the readers of the blog, Simpler Living. I’ve listed two of those tips below and you can find all five here. Btw, you might remember that the author of Simpler Living, Naomi Seldin, wrote a guest post for OTR – From Cluttered to Organized. It’s a very motivating account of her journey to living well with less.

Holiday Clutter Survival Kit

Are your purchases sneaking up on you? Do you find yourself shoving them under beds and sofas? Check out these tips on how to get them under control.

#1 – Get on the List. Before you grab your purse or wallet and walk out the door, make a list of all the things you need to buy. This way, you’re focused on what you need and you’re less likely to bring home extras (you know, the stuff that you don’t need or have a place for).

#4 – Gather the Troops. When the wrapping and prepping is all over, you’ll need help to clean up and reclaim your space. It’s no fun doing this alone, so get some friends and family to join in.

Get All Five Tips @ The Simpler Living Blog

]]> http://dallisonlee.com/blog/2009/12/05/deb-lee-featured-on-simpler-living-blog/feed/ 0 http://dallisonlee.com/blog/2009/06/15/jaimes-jem-summer-movies/ http://dallisonlee.com/blog/2009/06/15/jaimes-jem-summer-movies/#comments Mon, 15 Jun 2009 09:47:38 +0000 Jaime Maerz, Mommy Blogger http://dallisonlee.com/blog/?p=1414

With summer approaching and school out, many parents look for ways to entertain their children during the summer months.  I know I do!  I already have the summer calendar going, adding events and activities daily, so I a) have something special and fun to look forward to with my boys, b) have something to threaten my children with if they don’t behave, and c) am certain everything works better with a plan!

While many summer activities occur outdoors, sometimes it’s great to have indoor options as well.  What about a movie?  Both  AMC and  Regal Theaters offer children’s movies during the week for little or no cost to you (AMC charges $1 for a ticket, Regal is FREE).  A different G or PG rated movie is offered each week, typically on Tuesday or Wednesday mornings, and while the movies shown aren’t the newest releases, what kid doesn’t find it thrilling to see a flick on the Big Screen?  The biggest bonus is that fact that, since they are children’s movies, and cost nothing, if your child is not interested in the movie, if they’re having a less than quiet moment (read TANTRUM) or if the novelty of the whole movie experience has worn off, soon after the popcorn has been consumed, you can choose to leave and not feel bad about shelling out 15 bucks per ticket.  And it they love it, you have something fun to do once a week during the summer.  I think this Jem is worth the price of popcorn to find out, don’t ya think?

Everyone has a wish list, right?  Many days I am wishing for more sleep, and a clean house for more than 4 minutes, but there are certainly some tangible things on my list as well.  This week’s “Jem” allows you to do just that ~ WISH!  And share it with everyone!

The Things I Want is the prefect website for creating a wish list of any kind, for any reason, or quite frankly, no reason at all.  It works in a similar way that a baby or bridal registry would, but the difference is, you are not restricted to one store, and it’s all conducted online.  All you need to do is go to the site, The Things I Want, and download the application.  Then you can add any item to your list, from any website.  If it has a website, you can wish for it, and share it with anyone you choose.  You can make your list private, even password protect it, or you can make it public for everyone to see.  Hey, you never know if there’s a secret admirer out there that wants to give you little something special. You can also create multiple lists for multiple events, and sort them by date of occurance ~ how convenient!

Personally, I use it most for Christmas and birthday lists for my kids.  How many times have family members asked what to get the kids?  Not to sound ungrateful, but wouldn’t you much rather have something that will get used and not stay in a box or collect dust?  If they ask, chances are they don’t have a clue and are looking for guidance, so why not make gift giving easy?  Take the guess work out of shopping for gift givers, where they can even “reserve” the item anonymously.  It’s a great site for bridal and baby registries too, and perfect for gift givers who shop online. 

What’s on your Wish List?  Check out The Things I Want and star wishing.

On my way home today, I listened to All Things Considered on NPR and heard about a story that had a direct connection to my recent blog post, The Gift Giving Conundrum. There seems to be a mystery gift giver who has caught the attention of some people in the gift giving business. In the “People and Places” segment, host Michelle Norris talked with Megan Spears, who’s with the Salvation Army in Lee County, Florida, about an anonymous gift they received.

It turns out that for three years running, a Liberty Eagle coin that’s worth about $1000 was left in a Lee County Salvation Army kettle. As in the previous years, it was accompanied by a note that said “In Memory of Mimi.” It was not signed and no one from the Salvation Army knows who’s behind the show of generosity. A random act of kindness. Giving without the expectation of anything in return. Not a novel idea but certainly a good one.

So, how do the folks at the Lee County Salvation Army feel about this? Here’s what Ms. Spears had to say:

“There’s such a good heart inside this person to continue to do something for so long and I don’t think there’s any more to say than thank you so very much, and just to tell them how appreciative we are…thank you from the bottom of our hearts.”

So moved by the gesture was Ms. Spears that she offered up a gift of her own…a hug.

It’s the time of year when everyone’s getting ready to spend time with family and stocking up gifts. I’m all for spending time with loved ones, and who doesn’t like getting presents? Still, the gift giving tradition has me a bit conflicted for a couple reasons.

As an organizer, I see so many homes that are cluttered with lots of gifts that have been bought over the years that have yet to be given to the intended recipients. Some people get very stressed out and overspend on gifts/decorations, especially when they are hosting a holiday dinner. It’s curious that this happens only at select times of year.

Even more curious, why isn’t every day a celebration? Why isn’t “family time” special all the time? Why not just give a gift for no reason at all? Personally, I’m just more apt to give a gift “just because,” and I’m not the only one who does this.

Did you know that there’s a group in Japan’s Shinjuku district, that gives free hugs as mini gifts to people just to cheer them up? These random acts of kindness are done with no expectation for what they will get in return. How cool…and nice…is that?

It doesn’t cost to give hugs, so it’s easy, right? Well, some people give large amounts of money without being named. Here are a few…

Back in February 2008, someone anonymously gave $5 million to the Opera Santa Barbara. The donor will be identified only after his or her death. Here’s another…In 2007, the University of California at San Francisco received $150 million for cancer care and research. Still one more…back in 2001, someone gave $100 million to Johns Hopkins University to create a malaria institute. In fact, a recent article in the LA Times mentioned that anonymous donors in 2007 made 87 gifts that totaled almost $1.1 billion.

Ok, so maybe some of the folks giving away all that money might have one or two ulterior motives. Really though, the point I’m trying to make is that gift giving should be meaningful, not based on what will be gotten in return nor dictated by tradition. This may sound radical to some and you might really enjoy giving presents during the holidays.

So, perhaps you might reconsider the type of gifts that you buy. Check out Clutter Free Holiday Gift Giving That is Both Meaningful and Useful by fellow organizer, Scott Roewer. The title says it all. Also, take a peek at 2008 Gift Giving Guide: Gifts of Clutter on Unclutterer.com. It tells you exactly what to leave on the store shelf.

Happy shopping…or not.

Related Information

• Anonymous Gift Giving
• No Name Tags on Donors’ Big Gifts
• Gift Trapped?
• Free Hugs in Shinjuku