I have been really busy the last few weeks, hence the lack of blog action on my part.  We’ve had some illnesses hit our house and make the rounds again, which always takes a toll on everyone.  In addition, just getting caught up in the day to day functions can get crazy, and before you know it, time has slipped away.  But I’m back, and I’ve got something on my mind!

I’ve been thinking a lot about balance lately.  Maybe it’s because I am a parent now, with many more responsibilities, or maybe it’s just the change in our society in general, but it seems like people are so much busier now than they ever were before.  Everyone is constantly multitasking, rushing their kids from one practice to another, scheduling meetings and playdates, attached to their pda’s and blackberries, causing accidents while driving and talking on their cell phones, or just looking like crazy people in general, as they walk down the street talking on invisible headsets – c’mon you know what I am talking about!  How many times have you seen someone alone, talking out loud, and ask yourself, “Did that person just say something to me, or are they talking to themselves?”  Or perhaps YOU are that crazy person.  It’s okay, rest assured, you’re not alone.  But at what point is all this business and multitasking necessary, and at what point can you just put it on hold?  This is a question I ask myself often, as a parent, “How do I find the balance?”

I can admit that I am just as bad as the people I mentioned above, consumed with technology pulling me in one direction, household chores in another, and my family in another.  Twisted like a pretzel, let me just say I have become very flexible over the years.  Even without having a job outside the house, it seems finding the balance is something I struggle with daily.  When I decided to stay home to raise my kids, that became my full time “job.”  Though as with any other job, there are day to day responsibilities that also need to be tended to.  I wish I could engage my kids every second of the day, and often feel guilty when I don’t, but that is just not realistic, or healthy. Trying to teach independence, without dismissing my children and without feeling guilty, is definitely a challenge.  But it’s times when my son will say, “Can someone pleeeeeeeaaase play with me?,” that I have to stop and ask myself, is my little smartie hitting me hard with guilt, or can this load of laundry wait while we have a quick game of checkers? Or another way to ask it, “Do you want clean underwear, or do you want to play a game?” (no doubt my son would choose the latter if faced with that question!).  The ideal solution to this dilemma is to say to him, “Okay, let’s play the game, then you can help me with the laundry!”  Wow, now there’s a concept!  Unfortunately, it’s not always this cut and dry.

It was just this weekend where I sat down with my husband, feeling somewhat defeated as a parent, and decided I needed to make some changes here.  Before having children of my own, I worked in the child care industry, successfully managing several different programs for many years, so clearly I could do this!  I think!  Well, I brought myself back to all the experience I have gained over the years, and the light bulb went off…to find the balance, you have create one.  I am a firm believer of setting realistic expectations, so that is what I am going to do!  The first step is to sit down with my oldest son and create a daily schedule.  We sort of had one at one time, but somewhere, for some reason, we lost it, and looking back, losing that structure was when we started to lose the balance, and me, part of my mind.  We will re-establish the times and things we are going to do together, as well as the times for independent play, where Mommy can get stuff done, (and as an added bonus, helping Mommy with tasks earns more stickers on the sticker chart – woo hoo!).  Knowing what is coming next, I hope will alleviate the “boredom” that can wander about the house, as well as keep myself on task.  Knowing I have an allotted time to pay bills or clean the kitchen, for example, will help me use that time more efficiently, instead of checking in with Facebook, just for a minute!  It should also add to the quality of the time spent with my kids.  If I have certain times to get my “stuff” done, I won’t be constantly thinking about all the stuff I have to do in between turns at Monopoly Junior.

I can’t say for sure that this plan of mine will work, especially with 2 children at totally different stages, but it has worked for us in the past and I have high hopes this time around.  At any rate, I am certainly willing to give it a try.  Do you struggle with balance in your life, and if so, how do YOU manage it?  Please share with the rest of the class, kids!